Unfiltered Episode 1: What message would you give your younger self?

 [00:00:00] Welcome to the very first episode of Midlife with Courage Unfiltered. I am Kim Benoy, and I am your host, and I am so happy that you're here with me. Now, I am going to give you full disclosure. This was not the first episode that I recorded. The first episode I recorded.

Was more planned out. I had a script basically, and I created it, but I had a little help with it and I didn't like it. I had it ready to go. It's even on my profile as I'm recording this, but I just, something told me this isn't what I want it to be. I think I was in such a big hurry to get this going because I'm so excited about it and I thought, I just gotta get this out and I wanna do it.

And I'm glad I stopped and took the time to think about it because it's not. What I wanted the first episode to be. [00:01:00] So here I am just recording a little off the cuff, but not really. I have a list of things that I want to, share with you all. And so first of all, just, uh, kinda an overview of what this is.

I just want to be real with you. That's why I call it unfiltered. I'm gonna try not to edit very much, if at all. It's going to be me talking to you. I may bring in guests. I actually have a list of previous guests that I would really love to talk about and maybe go more in depth on some things.

And we're gonna talk about. The real, more real stuff might be able to say some words I don't normally say in the regular podcast. I don't know. We'll see how it goes. I just felt like there needed to be something a little extra and because it's a little extra, it's gonna be a subscription.

So not everybody's gonna, want to, , give me $5 every month to do it, but hopefully [00:02:00] a lot of you will. , And it's not for me to. Create this huge amount of income. It's really for me to help pay my bills. It costs money to put on a podcast and I have previously called it before last year.

It was really an expensive hobby. There's fees you pay for websites and, um, recording and editing and all this stuff. Even though I do my own editing, I have to pay for the software that helps me do that. So yes, there are freeways to do it, but I've learned a way to do it through this.

Um, it's called DE Script. I love it. And. That's what I do. So I, I cannot not use that. So anyway, to cut that back a little bit, I've made it, part of the reason for making it a subscription is to help me cover my bills, because this is a little extra that I'm doing besides the regular podcast. So, for less than a cup of coffee at Starbucks, you could, um, help support me every month.[00:03:00] 

So I appreciate that and I thank you all for doing that. So let's get into the first. Topic, I guess we could say. What I wanted to share with you is what is a message that you would give your younger self? Hmm. Let that sink in for a moment. What is a message I would tell my younger self. I made a whole list, so I have, it's a whole bunch of stuff here.

Let me just see if I can pull this up. There we go. Um, enjoy each moment. Don't sweat the small stuff. Make more time for fun. Try more things that scare you. Have more sex. If you feel something isn't right, ask why. Leave your option to quit or pivot open. Hold your kids more. Soak in the scent of the babies.

Take more pictures with you [00:04:00] in them and ask more questions. That's a big list and I don't think I'll have time. I don't think I wanna go through every single one of those today. But when I thought about it, and we can define, I thought about like younger, my younger self, it kind of went from really young, like twenties, maybe even younger than that.

Thirties, forties. A lot of it, you heard was hug your kids or hold your kids soak in that baby scent more. I had, and this isn't, I'm not saying that it's because I had two babies at once. I had twins. And they're busy. Of course, one baby is busy, two babies at one time are super busy, and I always think, gosh, I didn't have time to savor those moments.

But when I think back, I did do that. I just wish, now that I had, I would tell my younger self, it's not a regret, it's not a wish. I guess it's, I would have told myself [00:05:00] to hold my babies more. You know, soak in that baby scent that those little pudgy bodies and um, that little energy they had.

And I think I did a pretty good job of that. But at this point, I wish that, maybe it's just because I wanna go back and I'd love to hold those babies again. But, it's just, I would've told myself as a younger, as a young mom, take the time. Ask questions that can pertain all the way from childhood up till, till now and beyond.

And I might even just change that a little bit. As kids, we do ask questions. You know, the 2-year-old with the why, why we need you to do this. Why, let's go here. Why? We lose that as we get older and we just take things at face value and decide, or we just let others decide. For us, we don't always get to make our own decisions [00:06:00] and some of us question more than others of course, but I was one who didn't really question much.

, I had a path in front of me that I thought I was supposed to take. I took it up to a point and then I decided, uh, I'm gonna do something a little different. You all know about that story. , If not, go to my first podcast episode. I think it's pretty much in there. But anyway, ask questions.

Ask. Why ask, if someone is telling you to do something or you're thinking you might wanna do something and it just doesn't quite feel right. Ask yourself why? Why am I feeling like that? Why does this not sit right? Or maybe it's the other way you happen along something, maybe a situation, maybe someone invites you to do something totally out of your norm and you really love it.

You're just so excited about it. That's a great time to ask why. What is [00:07:00] drawing me to that? Is that something I need to do more of? Or is that something that I should be more aligned with What, you know, whatever it is, ask the, ask that question. So I would definitely tell my younger self, really younger self, to keep asking those questions

, Yeah. So I'm gonna here, look at my list here. What else is , on that list? Oh, take more pictures of you with people, with your kids, with your families. I realize not too long ago when I was pregnant, there's not a lot of pictures of me, and whether that was by choice or just how it happened.

There really aren't that many pictures. In fact, I don't know that I have any, that I took myself or, my husband. There were no selfies back then. That was, 30 plus, 35 years ago. So other people had to take those pictures. I know my mother-in-law has pictures of me pregnant because she gave me one or two, [00:08:00] but not many, and I wish that I had those pictures.

Now one thing, I did not look very pregnant until the very end, so maybe that's, maybe there are pictures. I just don't realize it, that I was pregnant at that time. , So I just having that. That time, uh, documented, documented isn't the right word. Just having that, that phase of your life, having more pictures of it, , I think is important.

, Not just for you, but for your kids too, um, to see that. So I think that's important. So yes, I would've, I would tell myself when I was pregnant, take more pictures. Get yourself out there a little bit more. I wasn't as in as extroverted as I am now back then, so, yeah. So tell me, I want to, oh, and you notice I'm not talking about the have more sex.

We're gonna talk about that in a different episode. You know, the unfiltered part that's gonna be, I think that one deserves its own episode. So we're gonna talk about [00:09:00] that, later on in a different episode. So stay tuned for that. Just the fact that I put it in there is a little bit out there for me, but I, it's awesome.

And I can't wait to, talk about it, in a different episode. Maybe that'll be the next one I record. I don't know. We'll see. So what is your list? What would you tell your younger self? And you can pick the, the younger definition. It could be as a child, as a teenager, as a young adult, older, middle age, whatever it happens to be.

It could be yesterday. What would you tell yourself yesterday? Um, whatever it is. So what I want you to do is go to the show notes and at the very top, the very first thing it says is send a text. You can simply click on that and send a message, and it will go to my podcast website that nobody else sees.

It's only for me. And you can tell me, tell me what you would tell yourself. If you could talk to your younger self, tell me what you would say. And if you want to, those messages are [00:10:00] anonymous. They say it's a text, but I don't get a text, a literal text. And I can't tell who sent it to me unless you identify yourself in the message.

And you don't have to. You don't, that's why they do that. But please send me a message and let me know, what you would tell your younger self. I would love to hear that. And I will share on, you know, the next episode. I'll bring that up. I won't, if you don't want me to say who it was, that's fine.

Just let me know that, just keep it anonymous. I'll probably go. More to not saying who it is because, okay, that's what I'm gonna tell you now. I will not say who it is unless you tell me that it's okay. So Ball is in your court on that, but please do respond and let me know.

Tell me what you would tell your younger self as a woman in midlife now. So yes, that's the send a text. You can do that or just send me an email, , which, that's more clicks. But, send me an email, send me a message. Text me if you have my phone number, you can text me. However you wanna do that.

I would [00:11:00] love to, share with our other, , community here, what you would tell your younger self. All right. Well, I hope you have enjoyed this first episode. I know I have enjoyed, I cannot wait to do more and I. Honestly, I'm probably gonna record maybe one or two more here before the end of this day today.

So I hope you all have a wonderful day, a wonderful week. Watch for the next episode. In the next couple weeks, I'm going to aim for one to two per month, and there might be months where you decide to do a little more. So you'll get a lot for that $5 a month. So thank you ladies so much, and.

Let me know what you would tell your younger self, and I'm gonna say it here too. Take care of your beautiful selves. You are amazing, wonderful, beautiful women, and we all need to stick together and be our community. , Take [00:12:00] care of your beautiful selves and I'll talk to you soon.